Health – Physical Activity Must Be Balanced

I’ve written many blogs on having balance in your life.  Most people focus on one or two areas and ignore the others.  What do I mean? Allow me to identify six specific areas in your life that should have some level of balance – Physical Activities, Mental Activities, Spiritual Activities, Relational Activities, Financial Activities and Time Management.  I will be discussing each of these areas in similar detail in my prosperity blog.  I have selected physical activity as a topic for both blogs.

What happens when you suboptimize anything in your life?  The other areas suffer.  Maybe not to a major extent, but over time, degradation appears.  If you spend two hours a day working out and ten hours of your life working to earn a living, how much time do your have for relationships, a spiritual life, personal development, etc.  You have limited your time for other parts of your life.  I am not saying you should stop exercising two hours a day.  I am saying that you should not ignore other important aspects of your life’s development, satisfaction and happiness.

Maybe you don’t have a spiritual life – or, a relationship with family or friends.  Is it necessary?  I think so if you want true happiness in your life.  You have been programmed to spend the majority of your day working for a paycheck.  You are paid to occupy space and to be productive for a number of hours every day (at least five days a week).  However, what are you actually doing to maximize the financial return for the rest of your life?  Is your retirement account growing beyond your expectation?  Earning money is only part of the financial activity segment of your life.  You should grow in knowledge of budgeting, spending, investing, etc.  The same is true with the other activities in your life.

Divide your life into three segments.  The first segment is your growth segment – the phase of your life in which you are growing – this phase is the same for all areas.  Allow me to establish boundaries so that everyone can visualize the same picture.  This growth phase is from age zero through age 25.  By that time you have grown from an infant to a mature adult – physically speaking.  You exercised unconsciously as a young child – running here and there – just having fun in life.  In school, exercise might have been forced on you to an extent in a prescribed Physical Education program – or, you might have been involved in one or more sports programs.  Even in early adulthood, there are residual physical activities that many people do – still hitting the gym, running, etc. 

However, along about the age of 25, many people begin to ‘slack off’ from their routines.  Exercise is minimized to an extent – I’m talked about the greater population.  Life has other priorities.  Does physical activity comprise only one physical activity?  What do I mean by that?  Most people assume that physical activity must have something to do with sweating and cardio development.  However, balance within physical activity includes more than just exercise.

You have heard the term, ‘work smarter, not harder.’  The same applies to physical activity.  Your body changes with age – look around you, and you can see examples everywhere.  Your physical activity program should adjust throughout your life in order to have a healthier life when you retire.  Exercise is only one program.  Diet and nutrition are two others.  Has your knowledge of diet and nutrition improved over the years?  What about your knowledge of breathing, meditation, and stretching, etc?  There are many aspects to overall physical health.

I define the next phase of your life as the range from 25 to 65 years of age.  This is your primary working life.  Life gets in the way of many things – marriage, kids, new jobs, new demands, travel, just to name a few.  In the first phase, physical activity is generally on an upward trend or maintained at a high level overall.  In phase two, the line trends downward and then levels off at a lower level compared to phase one.  Even exercising two hours a day every day from age 25 to 65 does not equate to ‘improved’ overall physical health.  Biochemical systems operate differently, parts wear out, and stress begins to take a toll. 

The third, and final, phase is defined from age 65 to death – your retirement phase, so to speak.  Statistically, if you make 70, you will make 80 years of age.  Statistically, if you make 95, you will make 105 years of age.  All of us want to be in good health in our retirement years.  We don’t want to be a burden on others.  Compare the number of prescription medicines you were on at age 5, compared to age 25, compared to age 45, compared to age 65 and compared to age 85.  Do you see a trend?  If you were smarter, earlier in your life, could you have prepared your body, your overall health, so that you could eliminate the need for prescription meds; or, in the worst-case scenario, you might need only one or two?

Your final phase is generally visualized as a further declining trend line bottoming out with a flat line at the lowest level in your life.  You just can’t get that much exercise with a walker or wheelchair.  However, you could be maximizing your knowledge of geriatric nutrition and appropriate cardio, stretching, breathing and body-weight exercises. 

Visualize your typical life span with the three phases of life defined previously.  You can see an upward trend line in the first phase (age zero to 25) with a high level of activity compared to the other two phases.  The second phase (age 25 to 65) shows a downward trend from the first phase and a leveling off at a lower level compared to the first phase.  Likewise, the same trend is seen in the third phase (age 65 to death) – downward and an overall lower level of physical activity.  What if you knew this was going to happen to you in advance?  Could you do something?  The answer is, ‘of course!’ 

This blog started by discussing balance in your life.  The plan for your life should include balance and an increasing smarter way of doing things with all aspects of your life.  Little changes made today, this week, this month can have an effect on your retirement years.  Think about it.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Prosperity – It’s Never Too Early To Panic

Years ago I used to teach a course for prospective Commanding Officers and prospective Executive Officers in the Naval Reserve.  These officers were selected for Command positions; however, they had not reported to their new organizations.  Several of us were assigned as instructors and were given the duty to review and update the existing course material.  We reviewed it for content, clarity, currency and completeness.  It was a two-day course offered over the weekend at various locations within our area of responsibility.

I saw one thing missing that I felt had to be included in the course.  I wanted a list of actions that would cause any Executive Officer (XO) or Commanding Officer (CO) to lose his or her job.  If you were taking over a new responsibility, something you had never done before, wouldn’t it be nice to know what might cost you your job?  I know I would.  If you were trained to know and to understand those actions that would result in immediate dismissal, you would recognize them and stay away from them.

We settled on a dozen or so different things that could cause an XO or CO to be dismissed.  In my 31 plus years with the Navy, I had one Commanding Officer, Executive Officer and Officer-in-Charge removed from their positions for failing a maintenance audit three times in a row.  It was mainly an administrative problem, but Command presence should have been brought to bear earlier to ensure that the maintenance issues were resolved and not repeated.  It brought disgrace to the officers involved and through our squadron into turmoil, flux, distrust, and disorganization.  It took over a year for the new team to earn our respect and trust.

Most of us reflect back on our lives when we reach retirement and assess our successes and failures – if I had done this or that, I would be better off, etc.  Some of us reflect on that topic earlier that others.  Nevertheless, the simple approach usually leads us to assume that our financial strength upon reaching retirement determines the success of retirement and our life.  It is one way to look at it, but not the only.  I’m not going into all the ways to look at success and failure in your life, but I do want to touch on the subject of reflection and your success.

What if you were told while you were growing up that if you took these specific actions, you would be successful; and, if you decided not to perform those actions, you would not be as successful?  Would you do the right things and avoid the wrong things?  Most of us would agree that they would do the right thing and avoid the wrong things.  However, who is telling you what is right and wrong for life’s success?  They are probably your parents, your friends, your teachers, your religious leaders, etc.  Did they have success in their lives?  Alternatively, is it a case of do as I say and not as I have done? 

It’s never to late to panic.  You can actually invest heavily in failure in your life and still come out ahead.  However, you must learn from your mistakes and stop beating a dead horse, so to speak.  If you keep doing what you have always been doing, you will always get the same results.  You have to do something different.  You have to listen to different people.  Decide what you value in your personal life and seek people who have demonstrated success in those areas.  I preach a lot about balance in your life – mental health, body health, time management, spiritual health, people/relationships and finance as primary areas of balance. 

What if you had more than enough money for you and your family for the next forty years of your retirement, but did not have the health to enjoy it?  Each aspect of balance relates to an overall happiness that must be considered to live your retirement to the fullest.  The old adage of going to school, working hard, getting a good job, and staying there to earn a pension is incorrect in today’s environment.  Companies no longer offer pensions and the money you earn from a pension will not carry you through thirty or forty years of your retirement. 

Why do I say thirty or forty years?  The latest actuarial tables have been updated in the past two years to extend your life to age 120.  It used to be age 95, but too many people are living past age 95.  If you live to age 70, you have a statistical advantage to make it to age 80.  Most people die before reaching the age of 70.  If you live to age 95, you have a statistical advantage to live to 105 years of age.  If you retire at age 60, you might have forty or forty five years to live on the retirement you have earned over those forty most productive years of your life.

I recently wrote six blogs on the University of Retirement that can help most people, even in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s find increased happiness in their retirement years.  Take the time to see what options you have.  I outlined a four-year program, but time is not an issue if you are retired.  You could actually complete this program in a year or less, depending on how hungry you are to improve your lot in life.  The earlier you decide to live to 100+ years in good physical and financial health, the easier it will be for you to achieve that goal.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Happiness – Make the Change for the Better

Is it better to be happy or sad?  Obviously there is an occasion for both.  But, when there is not an overriding event that causes temporary sadness in your life, you should at least be neutral, if not happy.  You are the only one who can make changes in your life.  Why choose to be negative, depressed, pessimistic, gloomy or distrustful?  We are bombarded with negativity every day from our news media, television, radio, magazines, family, friends, co-workers, etc.  If you just stop and objectively listen to a news broadcast or read a headline, you can begin to see the negativity that is spewing forth.

I just went to USA Today’s website and looked at a few headlines.  Here are a few:  US shuts 8 more banks, 50 closed this year; Goldman charges raise fears among investors, Suicide bomber kills 41 at Pakistani refugee camp, Bishop convicted for denying Holocaust.  Each headline has a negative undertone.  Yes, it is news, but you don’t have to accept and embrace the negativity in each story.  Can you personally do anything about bank closures in the United States?  Is a bishop convicted of denying the Holocaust impacting your day-to-day activities?  Of course not!  You can certainly read or listen to the news and choose not to be affected by it.

I scan headlines realizing that the intent of the headline writers is to get people to read their articles.  If the headline writer is good, you will read or listen to the information deemed as newsworthy.  Most of us don’t realize that everyone disseminating newsworthy information has an agenda.  The agenda may agree with yours – or, it may not.  If it does, then you reinforce your belief system.  If it doesn’t, then the typical response is anger, disbelief, doubt, distrust, skepticism, incredulity, etc.  It’s at this time you allow your attitude to change from positive or neutral to negative.  Why did you allow it to happen?  Most of us don’t realize that it happened because we’ve become so accustomed or acclimated to responding to everything we see or hear.

Eliminate negativity from your life if you want to be happier than you are right now.  It’s pretty easy to do.  Reflect on a few occasions when you became angry, upset or skeptical about something – when something happened that changed your attitude.  Was it the news, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or something else?  You are starting to compile a small list of stressors in your life that will automatically change your attitude.  Purge or reduce your dependence on news programs (television, radio, magazine, internet, etc.).  Realize that what you hear has been crafted to illicit a response to the information portrayed.  That one step will eliminate 80% of all negativity in your life.

I gave up watching television news in the mid-80’s.  The first reason why is that they were not reporting news, but interpreting it for me and giving me their rendition.  The second reason was the overwhelming concentration on negativity.  A constant barrage of negativity is going to affect you negatively.  You have a choice to reduce or eliminate the negativity from these sources.  I can scan a bunch of headlines in a few minutes and generally never read the articles.  Occasionally I will download an article and I’ll read the first paragraph and skim the rest.  I usually don’t get past the third or fourth paragraph most of the time.  I know what is being said, but I’m not accepting the negative slant being presented.  I keep abreast of current events on a daily basis, but I don’t let them influence me.  If you have certain people in your life who always dwell on the negative, realize what they are doing and try to minimize your time with them.  Worst case, just tell them that you are not interested in that subject – move on to something else.

When was the last time you counted your blessings?  Have you recently thanked someone for what they’ve done for you?  We typically don’t thank people, even parents and siblings, for the things they did to help us.  If you can’t tell them face to face what a difference they made in your life, write it down in a journal – something only you will see.  You are expressing gratitude and it will be interpreted by your subconscious as such.

When was the last time you practiced an act of kindness?  Something as little has holding a door at a store, picking up some trash, returning a shopping basket to the store, etc.  I carry $5.00 gift cards for my favorite fast food eatery that I give to those asking for assistance on the side of the road.  Sometimes when there is a homeless person outside a facility that I am frequenting, I’ll order something to-go and give it to them on my way out.  I’m not looking for thanks or anything else.  I just want to do a random act of kindness.

We all carry grudges – we’ve been conditioned to do it by our families and by society.  Have you forgiven those people who you resent?  Again, like counting your blessings, you don’t have to confront the person and tell him or her that you forgave them.  That would be nice, but you can write that forgiving statement in a journal and accomplish nearly the same thing to your psyche.  I attended a church service several years ago and the homily talked about forgiveness.  He asked each of us to think about the people in our lives that we really didn’t like – those people who irritated us every time we saw them or thought of them.  He had us take our index finger from one hand and write their names, one at a time, on the palm of our other hand.  We then said to ourselves, that we forgive them – and then we threw our arm upward and released the invisible written name on our palms.  Just that little exercise released a lot of pent up anger and resistance I had been carrying for a number of years.  I still do this process occasionally when I find myself being negatively influenced by friends and family.

When was the last time you just savored the moment – smelled the roses, so to speak?  I walk outside and the temperature is wonderful, the birds are singing, the sun is shining – and I take a second or two and just engulf myself in my surroundings.  I noticed what I’ve taken for granted in the past and realize that happiness is all around me.  I’ll thank God for that quick respite from the pressures and stresses of the day and then go on with my mission for that moment.  It doesn’t have to be something you experience in the here and now.  It can be a moment in your past that you can resurrect and enjoy again and again.  Reinforcement of those positive feelings stimulates a happier you.

Achieving results leads to happiness.  The easiest way to achieve happiness from this method is to set an easily achievable goal and accomplish it.  It can be something as easy as taking the trash out on those designated trash nights, cleaning the kitchen table – things that you might not normally do on a regular basis.  If can be paying your bills on time, going for a walk every day, talking to a family member you haven’t spoken to in a long time.  Set a goal and do it.  Accomplishing lots of these little achievable goals will provoke a feeling of happiness and success in your life.

Don’t allow someone, even yourself, to force guilt upon you for doing or not doing something.  Don’t feel ashamed of doing or not doing something because you feel you must.  Do things that are natural, things you enjoy doing, things you value and can identify with, things that are challenging and rewarding, things that you are not forced to do.  Eliminating the guilt and shame reduces a lot of stresses and leads to happiness.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Subconscious Mind – Power Smiles To Make Your Life Richer

I’m sure that you see people all the time with genuine smiles.  It seems they can’t help but smile – it is part of their personality.  There is the other side of the spectrum also – those who frown, scowl, glare, grimace, glare, mope, sulk, etc.  You rarely see a smile on their face, even when they are happy.  I believe that very successful people have great smiles.  Look at the successful sales people in any line of business.  People like to do business with those whom they like.  A scowl or grimace doesn’t appeal to a lot of us, even if they are the best technician in the business.

Are all smiles created equally?  I’m sure you’ve seen someone put on a fake smile – usually when you are trying to cheer them up.  There is something missing in their smile.  We pick it up through our subconscious mind – we are constantly evaluating other people’s body language.  The smile is only one part of the true picture.  If everything isn’t true, then the picture is false or misleading.

As much as you can’t make someone else smile on command, you can’t do it yourself either.  The fake smile is overridden by the rest of your body language.  A smile is not automatic to those who hide them all the time.  I believe the outward manifestation of our true inner feelings is not shown in the totality of your smile – something is being held back because of something else has preoccupied your attention.  It affects your behavior which overrides the genuineness of your smile.

I said earlier that people buy from those whom they like.  We often project onto others those things that we believe.  If we are in a continual state of happiness, we project that happiness in our aura, so to speak, onto others.  Smiling is contagious.  Do a test and see – at the mall, at work, at church, at the bowling alley, at the park – it doesn’t matter where.  Look at everyone directly in the eyes as you pass them and smile – a big cheerful grin, a genuine beaming smile.  Look at how quickly strangers return your smile.  A little while later go through the same motions and look as peeved as you can – pretend you are really upset with something or someone.  Look at their expressions as you pass by each of them.  They will remain neutral and avoid looking at you as quickly as they can.

There are ethnic, cultural, family history, genetics, medications, bad teeth and other factors causing emotional withdrawal from smiling.  It is difficult on your best day to cause that person to smile genuinely.  Even in the workplace, your emotions show through the façade of your face.  If you are not happy working there, it is extremely difficult to smile.  Get away from work with some friends and your genuine smile returns.  The negativity inside your subconscious mind is overpowering your ability to act normal or to be happy.  Yes, there are some people who can hide their inner emotions, but it is not the norm.  If you suspect someone is hiding his or her emotions, watch how they deal with others.  Do they show genuine interest or make others feel important?  Do they listen more than talk?  Do they help others or offer hints or tips to make their job easier?  It’s the little things that permeate from your subconscious that you can’t hide easily – those things that support a smile or detract from it.  It’s easy to tell the real from the fakes.

A genuine smile is not a magic bullet, but it certainly is a silver bullet.  Smiling like any muscle group needs to be exercised.  Fortunately, it is one of those muscle groups in your body that can be worked every hour of every day.  You don’t have to start working on your smile an hour a day three days a week.  You do have to work on your mindset to complement your smile to make it more natural and authentic.  Mindset is the key to almost everything in our lives.  Mindset allows us to conquer the world or mope around endlessly.  Smiles keep your mindset positive.  Smiles change your mood and are therapeutic – they release stress.  Smiles release powerful neurotransmitters, similar to endorphins and serotonin – they lower your blood pressure.  We are more attractive, younger and look successful when we smile.

I mentioned the term ‘power smiles’ in the title of my blog.  Become a ‘Power Smiler!’  Exercise your mindset and your smile muscle group so that you make other people (friends, family and strangers) smile at you when you are not thinking about it.  When you make others smile, you might be changing their day for the better.  I use smiles very often to counter negativity, especially when something happens that used to make me upset or irritated.  When driving and someone cuts in front of me – I smile and say to myself something along the lines of, “They must be in a hurry.  I hope they get there safely.”  It doesn’t take but a second to pop a smile on your face and eliminate that negative reinforcement from some idiot in front of you doing his best to ruin your day – unintentionally, of course.  General Psychiatry published a study on optimism a while back.  They compared elderly optimists to elderly pessimists.  They found that more that they optimists were 71% less likely to die from certain diseases than pessimists.  Why not fill that mindset piggy bank up with an endless string of smiles and make your life richer and more rewarding?  You can choose to smile often and mean it.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Prosperity – Is Your Personal Misery Index Linked to the National Misery Index?

In the 1960’s, Arthur Okun, an advisor to President Johnson designed an economic indicator call the National Misery Index.  It is the sum of the unemployment rate added to the inflation rate.  Misery was assumed to be worse when there was high unemployment and high inflation.  Both conditions would cause economic and social chaos.  There was also a Barro Misery Index that included Gross Domestic Product and the bank rate, but it never got the full back as the simple Misery Index.

Many people have never heard of it, and most of us never track the Misery Index.  It seems to be one of those numbers bandied about by politicians.  In fact, President Jimmy Carter referred to the Misery Index often during his campaign.  It backfired on him because unemployment and inflation spiked during his presidency and hit an all time high – which led to his not winning a second term.  Even though the Misery Index was developed in the 1960’s, it was easy to calculate it by month for previous administrations.  Following World War II the following Misery Index averages were recorded:  Truman – 7.88, Eisenhower – 6.26, Kennedy – 7.14, Johnson – 6.77, Nixon – 10.57, Ford – 14.93, Carter – 20.27, Reagan – 11.19, Bush (41) – 9.68, Clinton – 8.80 and Bush (43) – 8.10.  Each president inherited the Misery Index ending value from his predecessor at whatever level it was when he took office.

Of course the average Misery Index doesn’t tell you the whole story.  As a statistician, I look at the range – the high and low – along with other factors to fully understand the final number reported.  The range for each president was:  Truman – 10.16, Eisenhower – 8.07, Kennedy – 1.98, Johnson – 2.49, Nixon – 5.81, Ford – 3.76, Carter – 9.36, Reagan – 11.63, Bush (41) – 2.83, Clinton – 4.82 and Bush (43) – 5.76.  The absolute lowest measured Misery Index was under Eisenhower at 2.97 and the highest was under Carter at 21.98.  One other factor that I consider in evaluating numbers is the trend – are the numbers going up or down.  In the case of the Misery Index, a downward trend is desirable.

The Misery Index focuses on implied misery in our society – higher unemployment and higher inflation – both infer that citizens in our society would be more miserable if the index number was higher.  A Gross National Happiness (GNH) index was designed to reflect the quality of life in more psychological terms.  Our current chief economic indicator, the Gross Domestic Product (GDP), measures the commerce of our country.  The GDP contains costs reflecting positive contributions to our commerce, but, in reality, there are many costs that do not contribute to our commerce in a positive manner.  Researches thought they could just deduct those costs and the GDP would be a better indicator of overall happiness in our society.  Nevertheless, the GNH index attempted to truly reflect the social and psychological well-being of our population rather than commercial transactions.

The Misery Index is easy to state in mathematical terms – add inflation and unemployment and you have it.  The GNH is more qualitative than quantitative involving the promotion of sustainable development, the promotion and preservation of cultural integrity and values, environmental conservation, and good governance.  It is difficult to attach realistic numbers to measure the breadth of our country.  A Genuine Progress Indicator was developed that focused on well-being and happiness only.  Again, these factors are difficult to measure and Daniel Kahneman, a Princeton University psychologist, began recording this information using the ‘day reconstruction method’ which relies on diary entries recording memories of your previous day at work.

So, where am I going with this?  I started out asking the question about your personal Misery Index.  There is no such thing.  You are either employed or not, and inflation is a factor in your life, but it is difficult to quantify.  Happiness and misery are at opposite ends of a measurement.  Why not look at factors in your life that you can easily quantify or allocate a personal qualitative assessment?  I believe it should include wealth, health and other factors that should be balanced in your life.

I would propose that wealth could be measured in a variety of qualitative ways – are you better off today than last month or last year?  Do you have more disposable cash today compared to last month or last year?  Has your savings grown since last month or last year?  Are your bills being paid on time compared to last month or a year ago?  There are other similar questions that you could design into your personal index.  As a qualitative measurement, you can determine your trend toward happiness or misery.

The same assessments can be done for your health (mental and physical).  Are you genuinely feeling better today compared to last month or a year ago?  Are you medical expenses higher today compared to last month or a year ago?  Are you more active today compared to last month or a year ago?  Is your memory as sharp today as it was a month ago or year ago?  Are you sleeping better today compared to last month or last year?  I would then add topics such as work, relationships, time management, spirituality, personal development, and uncertainty caused by politics, regulations, environment, security, individual freedom, etc.

A personal Misery or Happiness Index could be developed if you so chose.  It would give you trends and allow you to reflect about what needs to be changed in your life to make a difference.  It gives you the ability to begin controlling things that you may take for granted or assume that you have little or no control over.  Attitude is a major driver of our misery and happiness.  Controlling your attitude is the first place I would suggest to begin a trend or shift towards more happiness in your life.  I suggested that these measurements be done today, last month and a year ago.  Why is that?  Today you can assess things pretty well – it is what it is.  You can remember last month fairly easily, at least for the vast majority of us.  Last year is a bit trickier, but it is not too far a time in the past to recollect where you were on certain issues.

It is interesting that when I worked for Memorex in the mid to late 70’s, the company did a random call to workers monthly and asked questions about a myriad of topics in which I (and other employees) chose to answer (not mandatory) about how well we were that day, a month ago and a year ago.  I’m sure thoughts emanating from part of my brain led me to this blog.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Motivation – 16 Desires That Get In Your Way

A couple weeks back I blogged about desires and expectations.  I said that happiness is the difference between our expectations and our reality.  Expectations are always in the future.  Desire is related to our present and is representative of our reality.  If we have it pretty good, then our desires are satisfied and our future expectations are lowered.  If our current reality is lacking, then our desire is for better and our expectations are increased.  Our desires and expectations today are dynamic; they change as our reality changes.

I was doing further research on desire and came across some interesting tidbits that fascinated me.  A desire is a sense of craving or yearning for a person, thing or outcome.  The philosopher Hobbes (1588-1679) stated that human desire is the fundamental motivation for all human action.  Motivation can be intrinsic (coming from within you) or extrinsic (coming from the environment).  A lot of people think they are motivated by money, but they really are not.  That’s a topic for another blog.  I used to teach courses around the country in an earlier life and spent the better part of a couple hours talking about motivation.

Many of us have heard that we are motivated to minimize physical and mental pain or maximize pleasure.  Anthony Robbins took those two concepts and explained decision theory – why we decide to do something – avoid pain or seek pleasure.  Professor Steven Reiss, is a professor of psychology and psychiatry and an author.  In his book, Who Am I?  The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Action and Define Our Personalities (Tarcher/Putnam, 2000), said that these sixteen desires are what drive our everyday actions and make us who we are.  The uniqueness of individuals are based on the combinations and ranking of these desires.

Professor Reiss found that many researchers tried to reduce all human behavior to the basic two elements – pleasure and pain.  He did a number of studies involving over 6000 people and determined that there are sixteen intrinsic desires in each one of us.  These sixteen basic desires guide nearly all human behavior.  The sixteen basic desires are:
Acceptance – the need for approval
Curiosity – the need to think
Eating – the need for food
Family – the need to raise family
Honor – the need to be loyal to the traditional values of one’s clan or ethnic group
Idealism – the need for social justice
Independence – the need for individuality
Order – the need for organized, stable and predictable environments
Physical Activity – the need for exercise
Power – the need for influence of will
Romance – the need for sex
Saving – the need to collect
Social Contact – the need for friends (peer relationships)
Status – the need for social standing/importance
Tranquility – the need to be safe
Vengeance – the need to strike back

Professor Reiss emphasized that at least fourteen of the sixteen basic desires appear to have a genetic basis.  The desires of idealism and acceptance do not appear to have a genetic base.  These sixteen basic desires can describe over two trillion desire profiles.  Think about two or three people you know extremely well.  How different are they on each of the sixteen basic desires? These desires are intrinsic – they are internal to each of us.  They are part of our mindset.  They determine how much effort we are willing to expend to get something.  If we have an exceptional strong desire for vengeance, then we will do literally anything in our power to exact that revenge.  Other people with a low basic desire for vengeance will rationalize or justify to themselves why it is not worth their time to seek vengeance – the person, the object of their hatred will get his or her just rewards in this life or the next.

Each of these sixteen basic desires has been built from genetic codes which established your baseline at birth and have been reinforced in different ways through your learning experiences.  You may realize that your career requires a lot more of the basic desire for social contact – the need for friends and peer relationships.  I am an introvert and don’t like to walk up to a stranger and introduce myself and begin a conversation.  I feel very uncomfortable doing that.  I understand it.  But, I understand that my business requires that I wear that hat to do business.  If you ask people who know me about my being an introvert – they would swear that I’m absolutely the opposite.  I recognize a need to improve my skills in the area of social networking to earn more money.  I have changed my basic desire for social contact by direct action and will continue to change it in the future.  There was a lot of trial and error and awkward moments, but I have the ability to put on a particular hat and act professional.
Are any of these basic desires getting in the way of your life?

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Happiness – 21 Tips to be Happier Every Day of Your Life

1.  Desire to be happy.  Expect to be happy. 

2.  Make smiling a habit.

3.  Be grateful for everything you have today. 

4.  Write a list of ten times in your life that you were really happy.  Describe the details of the situation – who was there to share the moment with you – what was the weather like – was there an aroma in the air – why was it so special. 

5.  Watch something funny – a movie, YouTube has many of them.  Laugh aloud and often.

6.  When something goes wrong, think of what caused it to go wrong – don’t dwell on it, but determine to not let it happen again – find a solution that works and implement it the next time you see disaster coming down the road.

7.  Listen to relaxing and enjoyable music.  Dance if you want.  Sing if you want.

8.  Set aside ten minutes each day to read an inspiring article.

9.  Control your thoughts.  Cancel out negativity. 

10.  Stay away from unhappy people.  Don’t watch disturbing programs on television. 

11.  Focus on today.  Release yesterday – capture the solutions to your mistakes, but don’t dwell on them.  Don’t worry about tomorrow.  Be optimistic about tomorrow instead.

12.  Avoid instant gratification.  Even thought this sounds counterproductive if you want happiness, avoid fleeting desires of immediate satisfaction. 

13.  Do a random act of kindness for a stranger every day.

14.  Plan you happiness.  Schedule it into your day.

15.  Reflect on your accomplishments. 

16.  Maintain your health.  Good health goes with happiness.  Poor health covers your happiness with a veil of disappointment.

17.  Do something good for you each day.

18.  Determine what makes you happy and think about them often.

19.  Learn stress relief techniques to overcome and reduce the stress in your life.

20.  Learn anger management techniques for those occasions when you might need them.

21.  Share your happiness with others.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Prosperity – What is it Worth to YOU?

I was talking with a friend a couple days ago about investments.  He was happy because he has enjoyed a better than average rate of return for the past year.  Of course, he hasn’t caught up with what he has lost since 2000, but he’s happy and seeing his prosperity increasing.  He equates money to prosperity – as most people do.

I did a quick search on the Internet for the definition of prosperity and found many definitions.  Here are a few:  a state of flourishing, thriving, success or good fortune; comfortable, fortunate circumstances financially; moderately rich; easy living; booming; having a thriving business; abundance of valuable resources or material possessions; affluent; economic state of growth; and, well off.

One definition included a little more than just wealth – it includes other factors that are independent of wealth to varying degrees, such as happiness and health.  What is the value of having wealth and not being happy and healthy?  Most people think they are limited in their wealth building because they are dependent on their jobs.  They have so many skills and so many hours and are dependent on others to provide a paycheck.

Nevertheless, if your prosperity is more than just individual wealth, why can’t you improve prosperity in other parts of your life?  You have invested in yourself to make a living by accumulating an education, experience and skills to work for someone else and earn a paycheck.  Why can’t you invest in the other things in your life that will add to your own personal prosperity?  It’s not that hard to do.

Have you ever walked into a room that is a total mess?  Some will accept the mess as is – it is not worth cleaning up – it costs too much to make it better – it is not worth my time to change it – or any other rationalization as to why you won’t do anything.  Yet, if you start with the simple things, you can make a difference.

You can pick up some things, straighten out others, put things away neatly out of sight – these things take little effort – you already have the skills, you just need to do it, expend the time and energy.  However, if it needs painting and drywall repair or new carpeting, etc., then you may need new skills, money and more time.  Moreover, if you don’t want to do it yourself, then it will cost you more money.

I think this little analogy applies to our personal prosperity.  You may want to earn more money – increase your financial prosperity – and you might increase your financial prosperity incrementally – a small percentage of what you are already making.  To make a factor of ‘times’ your current income, then you need to learn new skills, accept greater risk, expend more of your valuable time and invest your money.

The option of making more money might not be worth it to most of us if it takes more effort than we believe is worth it.  What about the other factors that make up personal prosperity?  What can you do to improve your health?  Does it cost you a lot of money and time?  What can you do to improve your happiness?  Does it cost you a lot of money and time?  You can incrementally improve your health and happiness for little of your time and money.  

Can you improve your financial personal prosperity with a little monetary investment?  Absolutely!  Start with improving you mind first.  Invest in you – your personal development.  There is so much information available free on the Internet that you can’t read it all.  There is so much free information available on YouTube that you can’t listen to all of it.  It takes your time and energy only to improve your mind. 

The best two investments you will ever make will be into your own mind and into your own business.  The cost to invest in your own mind is negligible – it’s a time and energy function.  It is truly a low-cost option.  Improving your mind will give you the opportunity to own your own business.  Owning your own business gives you the ability to significantly improve your financial personal prosperity.

Allow me equate the messy room analogy to your personal prosperity.  You can pick up, straighten up and put away things in your room – they all cost nothing in terms of dollars – just your time and action.  You can go to the Internet and YouTube free and obtain information to assist you in your personal growth and development (health, wealth and happiness) – they also require your time and action.  The result is a better you.

The messy room is a good analogy also because many of us clean up our messy room, and then let it go back to the messy state again.  We are continually allowing ourselves to revert back to our messy past, rather than accepting the new paradigm that we approach but never adopt. 

If you want significant improvement in your financial prosperity, you will have to invest a little more to have a greater return on your investment.  This involves you owning your own business – real estate, becoming an author, MLM, consulting, mentoring, e-Bay selling, etc.  All involve more skills than you might have right now to be truly proficient, productive and profitable.

How much is incremental or significant improvement to your personal prosperity worth to you?  

Choices has consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Prosperity – Pushing Forward or just Standing Still

Confucius said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  When we begin a journey of a thousand miles, we have embarked upon a major goal in our lives.  Happiness is derived from having a goal and pursuing it.  We gain satisfaction from the achievements along the way.  When we start, we know where we want to go, and we actually make some progress.  But, for a lot of reasons, we get bogged down and the journey sometimes comes to a halt; or, sometimes we wander around haplessly, like a butterfly flitting here and there.  Occasionally, we might even decide the journey just isn’t worth it and we decide to accept failure and stop chasing it.

Many of us find that the attainment of the big goal is a major event in our lives and we rejoice and take pleasure in that accomplishment.  A few of us have already chosen our next goal and launch ourselves off in that direction.  But, when you step back and assess the journey and the goal, you should find that the journey was the really important part – not the goal.  The journey is where you learn about yourself and how you grow.  It is experience gained and the lessons learned that separate us from the others.

The goal is made up of many events or milestones – many of them minor along the way.  If we look at our life, we can see graduation from high school, going to college, graduation from college, getting a job, getting married, having children – and many more events in our lives.  Each of those events is a completion of one task and the beginning of another.  Many of us have a tendency to celebrate life’s successes early, and we become stuck after accomplishing a milestone, and not our life’s goal.  Why?  It is possible that we never set a life’s goal.  It is also possible that we became tired, lethargic and lazy and accepted the status quo as our comfort zone.

When we only have a single goal, we tend to focus on it.  We want it and we achieve it.  We have to have goals already set before we accomplish that one so that we can use the momentum to keep going.  But, more importantly, we must have balance in our goal setting.  If you focus strictly on financial rewards and achieve them, you have suboptimized your efforts at the expense of other important things in your life.

Take a look at your goals.  Are they balanced?  Do you have at least spiritual, physical/health, financial, social/relationship, mental/emotional and time management goals?  Let’s assume you have achieved your immediate financial goal, you still have other goals that add balance to your life and keep you from stagnating in a pre-comfort zone.  Balance keeps us happy and satisfied.  Balance reduces stress.

You aren’t the same person you were when you graduated from high school – although there are probably some in your family that might disagree.  You really aren’t.  You’ve had too many life experiences since then.  You are not the same person you were when you first married.  Years of marriage provide opportunities for new understandings, new knowledge, and a new appreciation of others.  If you are changing as you go through life, why stop before you get to the end?  It’s acceptable to rest and then continue, but is it really acceptable to stop before you have attained what you could have?

I’ve had discussions with a number of people regarding that last sentence.  Is it a waste – or, is it our decision to accept less out of life when we could have accepted more.   If you are happy when pursuing a goal, and you are satisfied when you achieve milestones along the way, why stop?  You are short-circuiting your happiness and satisfaction.  As such, you are not able to give back more than you have received later in life when it means more to you to do so.

Pushing all the time drains you of your energy to share yourself with others and enjoy what you are doing.  You do need some rest.  But, instead of pushing against the obstacles in life, all the time why not be pulled some of the time?  Isn’t it easier to hold on to the rope and let it pull you to the next milestone?  So, how do you get a hold on that pull-rope?  It’s easy.  Find yourself a mentor.  Find someone who has conquered those obstacles and knows the ins and outs and the ways around the big boulders in your journey.  Let your mentor pull while you push, and you can make the journey much more enjoyable.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Happiness – Lower Your Expectations to Raise your Happiness

I remember reading a story about the Danes being the happiest people on earth.  They are active people, generally married and healthier than their neighbors.  They live their lives in the present tense – today.  But, their expectations of the future are very low.  So, if today is better than they thought it would be yesterday, then automatically, they are happy.  That’s a difficult way to look at the world.  Expect little to nothing – get a little something – and be happy about it.

Are expectations a good thing to have?  I believe they are.  I believe that it is your expectations that separate you the norm – the 97% of Americans who remain jailed in their comfort zone.  My mentor, Myron Golden, has an excellent presentation on the constant battle between desire and expectation.  I’ve seen it several times and each time I learn something new from it.

Happiness is a result of our expectations.  Why and how, you may ask?  Happiness is the difference between our expectations and our reality.  If expectations exceed reality, then we are happy.  If not, then we are unhappy.  That is a pretty simplistic formula, but relatively accurate.  Yes, there are some other factors, but for the sake of this blog, it will suffice.

So, where does desire fit into this equation?  Desire is related to the present, not the future.  Desire is more representative of our reality – what we live in every day.  If we have it pretty good, then our desires are satisfied and our future expectations are lowered.  If our current reality is lacking, then our desire is for better and our expectations are increased.  Our desires and expectations today are dynamic; they change as our reality changes.

Today I have a desire to go to Corpus Christi, Texas tomorrow morning.  I have certain things that I want to do – they can only be done in Corpus Christi.  Because I have that desire today, I have an expectation to take that trip tomorrow morning.  If something happens which causes me to cancel the trip, my desire and expectation still remain.  We live in a world in which desires and expectations are unfulfilled on a regular basis – in many cases caused by things outside out control.

I have a medium high expectation to go to Corpus Christi tomorrow.  If I complete the trip, I will be happy.  If I do not complete the trip, I will be disappointed to unhappy dependent on the cause.  If I had control over the reason not to go, then I would be more unhappy than disappointed.  We control our happiness to a degree.  As we age our population has a tendency to lower their expectations which results in a false happiness.  Lower expectations fulfilled means happiness achieved – like the Danes discussed earlier.

I believe we condition ourselves to be consoled and assured in our comfort zones, that we don’t dare want to step outside and risk failure, disappointment or catastrophe.  Our reality muscles our desires to accept what we have because that’s what we deserve – what we’ve earned over our lifetime.  We set ourselves up unconsciously for accepting failure that has yet to be proved.  We accept the risk of failure as 100% and go into avoidance mode for greater expectations – all caused by our comfort zone’s safety and security.

Our current economy has many people out of work, or worried about being out of work.  Financial lending restrictions, diminished savings, unexpected repair or medical bills, and other personal factors impact our reality.  As such, in times like these we actually expect less.  We artificially use factors we can’t control for the most part to modify our desires and expectations; and, as a result, impact our happiness.

What is stopping you from having happiness in the face of economic uncertainty?  Your subconscious mind is leading the charge.  The fear, dread, panic, worry, anxiety, etc. impact your subconscious mind and it paralyzes your desires which typically ignite your expectations.  You have control over a lot of things, but you choose not to accept the risk.  A good buddy comes to you and says that he just got involved with this fantastic product/service and for $49.95 you can get in and make a lot of money.  The salesman alarm detonates in your subconscious mind and tells you – NO WAY!  I’ve tried this before and failed and I’m not going to allow it to happen again.

Your subconscious controls your happiness whether you want it to or not.  How do you begin changing it to increase your happiness?  You can’t do it consciously – it doesn’t work that way.  You begin with what you can control – first your attitude.  When things don’t look so depressing, miserable, hopeless or forlorn, you can make strides where others won’t take the time or trouble to do it.  Attitude is a major factor in accepting your reality, understanding that no matter what happens, it is temporary – worst case.  Your attitude will alter your desires to a higher level and cause your expectations to increase.

As Newton’s Law tells us – every object tends to remain constant in a state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.  Thinking gets the change started with attitude.  But, you have to apply a force – take an action – accept a risk – to convert those expectations into reality.  Little successes equal major changes in happiness.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin