Goals – What are Goals?

Goals are objectives, aims, ends, ambitions, purposes, targets, objectives, aspirations – things to aim at or for – to pursue. Goals are not wishes. Wishes are desires, hopes, yearnings, cravings, wants, inclinations, etc. They are not a real need. Wishes lack the ‘desire’ to achieve and to earn the reward of your efforts.  ‘Someday I’d like to…’ is wishful thinking. ‘By September, I am loosing ten pounds…’ is a goal. Goals are projected expectations in the future – objectives that a person wants to achieve. A wish is simply a hope or desire – not an expectation.

Goals must be written. I am serious. Mental goals equate to failure over 90% of the time. Written goals convert to success over 90% of the time when the proper actions are taken.  Several studies have shown that written goals produce results. Since 1950, graduates from various colleges have been tracked in their career success. The vast majority of college graduates had no goals whatsoever upon graduation – they found jobs and had a decent life. The Social Security Administration has studied financial success and failure for decades.  Their results show that 95% of people are dead, dead broke or still working when they reach the age of 65.  Only 5% are considered to be financially well off.

The Social Security 95% category includes most of those people without goals. Those with written goals – approximately 4% on the average – did several times better than those with unwritten goals. A written goal implies a contract to take action and achieve results. The vast majority of the people interviewed in the top 5% of the United States have written goals.

A basic goal statement includes what and when – what you want to accomplish (Lose ten pounds) within a stated timeframe (by September). A better goal statement would include the reasons ‘why’ you want to accomplish this goal. • By September, I am loosing ten pounds so that I am healthier, look better and fit into that new suit I want to buy. I want people to be impressed with the new leaner and trimmer me.

Think of it this way. You start your car and keep it in neutral. You can rev the engine as high as you dare, and you are not going anywhere. It’s the same as wishing and hoping – I wish I had a million dollars – I hope I can graduate. You have to put the car in gear in order to begin your journey. Your goal is your destination. Your goal is your expectation.

When setting and achieving goals, your brain is your biggest help or hindrance. Engage it correctly and your brain (actually your subconscious mind) can help you achieve your goals. Your brain actively helps you in your quest to achieve your goals. Do nothing, and your brain will hinder you from achieving your goals. Your brain will actually fight to see you fail.

There are several kinds of goals. I prefer the use the categories of: incremental, short-term, long-term, and audacious or awe-inspiring.  Incremental goals are the simplest and the best to start with to achieve initial success. Incremental goals are tiny changes. You know in advance ’what’ actions need to be taken, and ‘how’ to perform these actions to achieve your goal. For example, if you are consistently late for work – an incremental goal could be to get to work on time. Your objective is to get to work – something you know what and how to do. Getting to work on time is the ‘time constraint’ of your goal. It is not a monumental undertaking – it is something you can do with your existing resources and ability. It should require a tiny change in your normal daily activity to achieve this goal.

Short-term goals are usually viewed as a year or less – sometimes a couple of years – depending on the complexity and requirements of the goal. You know ‘what’ you want to do, but you may or may not know ‘how’ to get there. A short-term goal requires more time to accomplish. Losing 25 pounds in the next twelve months could be considered a short-term goal. You set the objective and the time needed to complete your goal. If what you have done in the past to loose 25 pounds is not working today, you may have to do more research and find other options that work. Short-term goals generally keep you in your comfort zone. They require effort, but you know that you can do them if you set your mind to it.

Long-term goals are generally longer than two years and can extend five, ten, twenty years or more. Planning for your retirement is definitely a long-term goal. Putting aside money for your kid’s college education is also a long-term goal – especially when you start at year zero or before. Long-term goals involve more planning and more specific actions to achieve victory. The long-term goal can be a double-edged sword – you have the time to do it when you start; and, you can run out of time, if you don’t keep on schedule. Long-term goals are full of opportunities to fail by their very nature – long, difficult, unknown, risky – not to mention the changes that will occur in your life along the way. You might require help to achieve your long-term goals – additional knowledge, support, resources, etc.

Audacious or awe-inspiring goals are long-term plus. They are big – hence the term audacious or awe-inspiring. They are something you truly believe in, a passion burning inside you, something you really want to do, but they are most likely impossible for you to do by yourself. An example of an audacious goal could be establishing a school for Downs Syndrome children. Audacious goals require skills you may not have today. They require not only planning, but a very clear vision and strong leadership. Above all they require relentless persistence and perseverance to achieve. They require you to believe in them more strongly than you have ever believed in anything before in your life.

Common reasons for failure to achieve your goals typically are:

• Definition and clarity – they were not well defined

• Self-doubt – you considered them unachievable, or

• Self-belief – you didn’t believe you could do it.

Belief is an interesting trait. If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got. You can’t do the same things and get a different result.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Motivation – 16 Desires That Get In Your Way

A couple weeks back I blogged about desires and expectations.  I said that happiness is the difference between our expectations and our reality.  Expectations are always in the future.  Desire is related to our present and is representative of our reality.  If we have it pretty good, then our desires are satisfied and our future expectations are lowered.  If our current reality is lacking, then our desire is for better and our expectations are increased.  Our desires and expectations today are dynamic; they change as our reality changes.

I was doing further research on desire and came across some interesting tidbits that fascinated me.  A desire is a sense of craving or yearning for a person, thing or outcome.  The philosopher Hobbes (1588-1679) stated that human desire is the fundamental motivation for all human action.  Motivation can be intrinsic (coming from within you) or extrinsic (coming from the environment).  A lot of people think they are motivated by money, but they really are not.  That’s a topic for another blog.  I used to teach courses around the country in an earlier life and spent the better part of a couple hours talking about motivation.

Many of us have heard that we are motivated to minimize physical and mental pain or maximize pleasure.  Anthony Robbins took those two concepts and explained decision theory – why we decide to do something – avoid pain or seek pleasure.  Professor Steven Reiss, is a professor of psychology and psychiatry and an author.  In his book, Who Am I?  The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Action and Define Our Personalities (Tarcher/Putnam, 2000), said that these sixteen desires are what drive our everyday actions and make us who we are.  The uniqueness of individuals are based on the combinations and ranking of these desires.

Professor Reiss found that many researchers tried to reduce all human behavior to the basic two elements – pleasure and pain.  He did a number of studies involving over 6000 people and determined that there are sixteen intrinsic desires in each one of us.  These sixteen basic desires guide nearly all human behavior.  The sixteen basic desires are:
Acceptance – the need for approval
Curiosity – the need to think
Eating – the need for food
Family – the need to raise family
Honor – the need to be loyal to the traditional values of one’s clan or ethnic group
Idealism – the need for social justice
Independence – the need for individuality
Order – the need for organized, stable and predictable environments
Physical Activity – the need for exercise
Power – the need for influence of will
Romance – the need for sex
Saving – the need to collect
Social Contact – the need for friends (peer relationships)
Status – the need for social standing/importance
Tranquility – the need to be safe
Vengeance – the need to strike back

Professor Reiss emphasized that at least fourteen of the sixteen basic desires appear to have a genetic basis.  The desires of idealism and acceptance do not appear to have a genetic base.  These sixteen basic desires can describe over two trillion desire profiles.  Think about two or three people you know extremely well.  How different are they on each of the sixteen basic desires? These desires are intrinsic – they are internal to each of us.  They are part of our mindset.  They determine how much effort we are willing to expend to get something.  If we have an exceptional strong desire for vengeance, then we will do literally anything in our power to exact that revenge.  Other people with a low basic desire for vengeance will rationalize or justify to themselves why it is not worth their time to seek vengeance – the person, the object of their hatred will get his or her just rewards in this life or the next.

Each of these sixteen basic desires has been built from genetic codes which established your baseline at birth and have been reinforced in different ways through your learning experiences.  You may realize that your career requires a lot more of the basic desire for social contact – the need for friends and peer relationships.  I am an introvert and don’t like to walk up to a stranger and introduce myself and begin a conversation.  I feel very uncomfortable doing that.  I understand it.  But, I understand that my business requires that I wear that hat to do business.  If you ask people who know me about my being an introvert – they would swear that I’m absolutely the opposite.  I recognize a need to improve my skills in the area of social networking to earn more money.  I have changed my basic desire for social contact by direct action and will continue to change it in the future.  There was a lot of trial and error and awkward moments, but I have the ability to put on a particular hat and act professional.
Are any of these basic desires getting in the way of your life?

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Happiness – 21 Tips to be Happier Every Day of Your Life

1.  Desire to be happy.  Expect to be happy. 

2.  Make smiling a habit.

3.  Be grateful for everything you have today. 

4.  Write a list of ten times in your life that you were really happy.  Describe the details of the situation – who was there to share the moment with you – what was the weather like – was there an aroma in the air – why was it so special. 

5.  Watch something funny – a movie, YouTube has many of them.  Laugh aloud and often.

6.  When something goes wrong, think of what caused it to go wrong – don’t dwell on it, but determine to not let it happen again – find a solution that works and implement it the next time you see disaster coming down the road.

7.  Listen to relaxing and enjoyable music.  Dance if you want.  Sing if you want.

8.  Set aside ten minutes each day to read an inspiring article.

9.  Control your thoughts.  Cancel out negativity. 

10.  Stay away from unhappy people.  Don’t watch disturbing programs on television. 

11.  Focus on today.  Release yesterday – capture the solutions to your mistakes, but don’t dwell on them.  Don’t worry about tomorrow.  Be optimistic about tomorrow instead.

12.  Avoid instant gratification.  Even thought this sounds counterproductive if you want happiness, avoid fleeting desires of immediate satisfaction. 

13.  Do a random act of kindness for a stranger every day.

14.  Plan you happiness.  Schedule it into your day.

15.  Reflect on your accomplishments. 

16.  Maintain your health.  Good health goes with happiness.  Poor health covers your happiness with a veil of disappointment.

17.  Do something good for you each day.

18.  Determine what makes you happy and think about them often.

19.  Learn stress relief techniques to overcome and reduce the stress in your life.

20.  Learn anger management techniques for those occasions when you might need them.

21.  Share your happiness with others.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin

Happiness – Lower Your Expectations to Raise your Happiness

I remember reading a story about the Danes being the happiest people on earth.  They are active people, generally married and healthier than their neighbors.  They live their lives in the present tense – today.  But, their expectations of the future are very low.  So, if today is better than they thought it would be yesterday, then automatically, they are happy.  That’s a difficult way to look at the world.  Expect little to nothing – get a little something – and be happy about it.

Are expectations a good thing to have?  I believe they are.  I believe that it is your expectations that separate you the norm – the 97% of Americans who remain jailed in their comfort zone.  My mentor, Myron Golden, has an excellent presentation on the constant battle between desire and expectation.  I’ve seen it several times and each time I learn something new from it.

Happiness is a result of our expectations.  Why and how, you may ask?  Happiness is the difference between our expectations and our reality.  If expectations exceed reality, then we are happy.  If not, then we are unhappy.  That is a pretty simplistic formula, but relatively accurate.  Yes, there are some other factors, but for the sake of this blog, it will suffice.

So, where does desire fit into this equation?  Desire is related to the present, not the future.  Desire is more representative of our reality – what we live in every day.  If we have it pretty good, then our desires are satisfied and our future expectations are lowered.  If our current reality is lacking, then our desire is for better and our expectations are increased.  Our desires and expectations today are dynamic; they change as our reality changes.

Today I have a desire to go to Corpus Christi, Texas tomorrow morning.  I have certain things that I want to do – they can only be done in Corpus Christi.  Because I have that desire today, I have an expectation to take that trip tomorrow morning.  If something happens which causes me to cancel the trip, my desire and expectation still remain.  We live in a world in which desires and expectations are unfulfilled on a regular basis – in many cases caused by things outside out control.

I have a medium high expectation to go to Corpus Christi tomorrow.  If I complete the trip, I will be happy.  If I do not complete the trip, I will be disappointed to unhappy dependent on the cause.  If I had control over the reason not to go, then I would be more unhappy than disappointed.  We control our happiness to a degree.  As we age our population has a tendency to lower their expectations which results in a false happiness.  Lower expectations fulfilled means happiness achieved – like the Danes discussed earlier.

I believe we condition ourselves to be consoled and assured in our comfort zones, that we don’t dare want to step outside and risk failure, disappointment or catastrophe.  Our reality muscles our desires to accept what we have because that’s what we deserve – what we’ve earned over our lifetime.  We set ourselves up unconsciously for accepting failure that has yet to be proved.  We accept the risk of failure as 100% and go into avoidance mode for greater expectations – all caused by our comfort zone’s safety and security.

Our current economy has many people out of work, or worried about being out of work.  Financial lending restrictions, diminished savings, unexpected repair or medical bills, and other personal factors impact our reality.  As such, in times like these we actually expect less.  We artificially use factors we can’t control for the most part to modify our desires and expectations; and, as a result, impact our happiness.

What is stopping you from having happiness in the face of economic uncertainty?  Your subconscious mind is leading the charge.  The fear, dread, panic, worry, anxiety, etc. impact your subconscious mind and it paralyzes your desires which typically ignite your expectations.  You have control over a lot of things, but you choose not to accept the risk.  A good buddy comes to you and says that he just got involved with this fantastic product/service and for $49.95 you can get in and make a lot of money.  The salesman alarm detonates in your subconscious mind and tells you – NO WAY!  I’ve tried this before and failed and I’m not going to allow it to happen again.

Your subconscious controls your happiness whether you want it to or not.  How do you begin changing it to increase your happiness?  You can’t do it consciously – it doesn’t work that way.  You begin with what you can control – first your attitude.  When things don’t look so depressing, miserable, hopeless or forlorn, you can make strides where others won’t take the time or trouble to do it.  Attitude is a major factor in accepting your reality, understanding that no matter what happens, it is temporary – worst case.  Your attitude will alter your desires to a higher level and cause your expectations to increase.

As Newton’s Law tells us – every object tends to remain constant in a state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.  Thinking gets the change started with attitude.  But, you have to apply a force – take an action – accept a risk – to convert those expectations into reality.  Little successes equal major changes in happiness.

Choices have consequences.  Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin