Is it better to be happy or sad? Obviously there is an occasion for both. But, when there is not an overriding event that causes temporary sadness in your life, you should at least be neutral, if not happy. You are the only one who can make changes in your life. Why choose to be negative, depressed, pessimistic, gloomy or distrustful? We are bombarded with negativity every day from our news media, television, radio, magazines, family, friends, co-workers, etc. If you just stop and objectively listen to a news broadcast or read a headline, you can begin to see the negativity that is spewing forth.
I just went to USA Today’s website and looked at a few headlines. Here are a few: US shuts 8 more banks, 50 closed this year; Goldman charges raise fears among investors, Suicide bomber kills 41 at Pakistani refugee camp, Bishop convicted for denying Holocaust. Each headline has a negative undertone. Yes, it is news, but you don’t have to accept and embrace the negativity in each story. Can you personally do anything about bank closures in the United States? Is a bishop convicted of denying the Holocaust impacting your day-to-day activities? Of course not! You can certainly read or listen to the news and choose not to be affected by it.
I scan headlines realizing that the intent of the headline writers is to get people to read their articles. If the headline writer is good, you will read or listen to the information deemed as newsworthy. Most of us don’t realize that everyone disseminating newsworthy information has an agenda. The agenda may agree with yours – or, it may not. If it does, then you reinforce your belief system. If it doesn’t, then the typical response is anger, disbelief, doubt, distrust, skepticism, incredulity, etc. It’s at this time you allow your attitude to change from positive or neutral to negative. Why did you allow it to happen? Most of us don’t realize that it happened because we’ve become so accustomed or acclimated to responding to everything we see or hear.
Eliminate negativity from your life if you want to be happier than you are right now. It’s pretty easy to do. Reflect on a few occasions when you became angry, upset or skeptical about something – when something happened that changed your attitude. Was it the news, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or something else? You are starting to compile a small list of stressors in your life that will automatically change your attitude. Purge or reduce your dependence on news programs (television, radio, magazine, internet, etc.). Realize that what you hear has been crafted to illicit a response to the information portrayed. That one step will eliminate 80% of all negativity in your life.
I gave up watching television news in the mid-80’s. The first reason why is that they were not reporting news, but interpreting it for me and giving me their rendition. The second reason was the overwhelming concentration on negativity. A constant barrage of negativity is going to affect you negatively. You have a choice to reduce or eliminate the negativity from these sources. I can scan a bunch of headlines in a few minutes and generally never read the articles. Occasionally I will download an article and I’ll read the first paragraph and skim the rest. I usually don’t get past the third or fourth paragraph most of the time. I know what is being said, but I’m not accepting the negative slant being presented. I keep abreast of current events on a daily basis, but I don’t let them influence me. If you have certain people in your life who always dwell on the negative, realize what they are doing and try to minimize your time with them. Worst case, just tell them that you are not interested in that subject – move on to something else.
When was the last time you counted your blessings? Have you recently thanked someone for what they’ve done for you? We typically don’t thank people, even parents and siblings, for the things they did to help us. If you can’t tell them face to face what a difference they made in your life, write it down in a journal – something only you will see. You are expressing gratitude and it will be interpreted by your subconscious as such.
When was the last time you practiced an act of kindness? Something as little has holding a door at a store, picking up some trash, returning a shopping basket to the store, etc. I carry $5.00 gift cards for my favorite fast food eatery that I give to those asking for assistance on the side of the road. Sometimes when there is a homeless person outside a facility that I am frequenting, I’ll order something to-go and give it to them on my way out. I’m not looking for thanks or anything else. I just want to do a random act of kindness.
We all carry grudges – we’ve been conditioned to do it by our families and by society. Have you forgiven those people who you resent? Again, like counting your blessings, you don’t have to confront the person and tell him or her that you forgave them. That would be nice, but you can write that forgiving statement in a journal and accomplish nearly the same thing to your psyche. I attended a church service several years ago and the homily talked about forgiveness. He asked each of us to think about the people in our lives that we really didn’t like – those people who irritated us every time we saw them or thought of them. He had us take our index finger from one hand and write their names, one at a time, on the palm of our other hand. We then said to ourselves, that we forgive them – and then we threw our arm upward and released the invisible written name on our palms. Just that little exercise released a lot of pent up anger and resistance I had been carrying for a number of years. I still do this process occasionally when I find myself being negatively influenced by friends and family.
When was the last time you just savored the moment – smelled the roses, so to speak? I walk outside and the temperature is wonderful, the birds are singing, the sun is shining – and I take a second or two and just engulf myself in my surroundings. I noticed what I’ve taken for granted in the past and realize that happiness is all around me. I’ll thank God for that quick respite from the pressures and stresses of the day and then go on with my mission for that moment. It doesn’t have to be something you experience in the here and now. It can be a moment in your past that you can resurrect and enjoy again and again. Reinforcement of those positive feelings stimulates a happier you.
Achieving results leads to happiness. The easiest way to achieve happiness from this method is to set an easily achievable goal and accomplish it. It can be something as easy as taking the trash out on those designated trash nights, cleaning the kitchen table – things that you might not normally do on a regular basis. If can be paying your bills on time, going for a walk every day, talking to a family member you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Set a goal and do it. Accomplishing lots of these little achievable goals will provoke a feeling of happiness and success in your life.
Don’t allow someone, even yourself, to force guilt upon you for doing or not doing something. Don’t feel ashamed of doing or not doing something because you feel you must. Do things that are natural, things you enjoy doing, things you value and can identify with, things that are challenging and rewarding, things that you are not forced to do. Eliminating the guilt and shame reduces a lot of stresses and leads to happiness.
Choices have consequences. Your Prosperity Professor, Red O’Laughlin
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